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27 October 2016 @ 01:57 am
Living Up To You - Chapter 00 Prologue  

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I pushed up my long sleeves, casually brushed off the stone behind me and sat down.

The sun had set. Sunset on Cang Jia Shan is the most beautiful of the six realms. I thought to myself, this is probably going to be the last time I see the crimson sunset. Shortly after, Nan Zhi will come find me, he will bring me to the top of Cang Jia Shan to await the moon at it's phase of highest yin.

Nanzhi is the man I love deeply.

He was once a xian, now is a muo. He was once asleep for over ten thousan years, it was I who awakened him. I am Cang Jia Shan Sect's three hundred ninety seventh generation deciple, to slay evil and protect the good is my duty. However, after I awakened him, I fell for him.

He likes to clothe himself in black, likes to brush the corner of my eyes with his cold fingertips, likes to take my wrist and pull me behind him in protection, turning his head and giving me a gentle smile.

Because between me and the woman he is deeply in love with, is a face that is exactly alike.

Tonight is a full moon. The location posessing the highest Yin energy coupled with the highest Yin phase of the moon, is a rare opportunity for summoning souls.

At the peak of Cang Jia Shan, there was once my Shifu, Shishu, Shixiong, Shidi, Shijie. Now, my foot steps over their bones and flesh, my hands brush over their freshly shed blood, one step after another until reaching the peak. Soon, I will go join them. The man I love so deeply, he will soon let my blood run dry, shred up my soul, driving me out from this body.

Because between me and the woman he is deeply in love with, is a face that is exactly alike.

That woman's name is Chen Xi. He said, I am mischievious like her, unruly like her. He said, I am a trouble magnet, like her, likes to cry, like her. He said, like her, when I smile two sweet dimples will appear on my face.

But she is Chen Xi, I am Ling Xi.

Similar but different names.

He said I stole her name, seized her body. Only when I am driven out, she can return to his side.

Ten thousand years ago, in order to save him, she nearly had her soul destroyed and scattered. He slept for ten thousand years, in exchange for keeping a piece of her soul locked under the Eastern Sea. Ten thousand years later, I awakened him. I never told him, because of him, Shifu had already dispersed four pieces of my soul. Tonight, he will be dispersing the remaining three pieces.

After this, whether one looks to the heavens or below, whilst on the path to the underworld or under the blue skies, there will no longer be a person called Ling Xi.

I stood on the peek of Cang Jia Shan, the wind blows violently.

The moon is supended in the sky, I can feel his presence. He is just ahead, not far away from me.

It's as if I can see the edge of his robe curling in the wind, his black hair adrift. Only when he slowly, little by little, came closer to me, can I make out the coldness that was in his eyes.

After the first four pieces of my soul was dispersed, my body started to weeken. My eyes, can only see faint lights. For instance the crimson red of sunset, for instance the sharp coldness under his gaze.

Not just my body, my memory also has started to blur. I know, Shifu is fearful that I would fall in love with him therefore dispersing four pieces of my soul. Even so, I still fell for him. Even in the vague and blurry remnants of my memories, his shadow is everywhere.

Actually, other than him, there is also another person's shadow; Chen Xi.

I once met her, underneath the Eastern Sea.

"Nan Zhi..." I softly called him, my voice shaking uncontrollably.

His breathing became unsteady, an unexplainable emotion filled the air. My heart trembled slightly, ever since I met him, I have never seen his emotions this unsteady. Perhaps, he would not bear to lose me also?

"Do you want to beg for mercy?" His voice sounded in my ear. Just like that year I met him, his eyes were filled with uncertainty, in his cold voice he asked me "Who are you?"

"Today, you can only die."

Still, he continued repeating that fact that I had long accepted already.

I laughed. All I did was tell him, I had met Chen Xi at the bottom of the Eastern Sea. I told him, Chen Xi doesn't remember him anymore.

Now thinking about it, so what if I told him?

Even if she forgot him, he still loved her. Even if I seared him to the bottom of my heart, he would still not love me.

A mind-numbing sensation came from my forehead, the scalding scent of blood drifted into my nose. For a moment I thought I saw the entire sky lit in crimson color, my eyes drifted further, the broken and battered trees of Cang Jia Shan all of a sudden had sprung back to life and were full of energy, growing and blooming, smiling in the night.

I know, blood was dispersing from my forehead, it can no longer be stopped. All sorts of demons and spirits will gather at Cang Jia Shan, fight over the blood and at the same time shred up my soul. Until my blood dries, until my energy depletes, until I am scattered like ashes and put out like a flame.

An invisible pressure crushed down from above, spreading outwards in all directions.

Something finally shattered.

I saw my soul, shattered into pieces, spilled out over the entire sky.

In this shard, I had a scroll in my hand teaching him a spell. In this other shard, he saved me from under the sharp blade of Shijie's sword. In that shard, I took him to explore Cang Jia Shan. In that other shard, he took me on his back, flying over the Eastern Sea. All of these shards, they were all shadows of him and I.

In my eyes, he was Nan Zhi. In his eyes though, I was not Ling Xi.

Because between me and the woman he is deeply in love with, is a face that is exactly alike.

The woman he loves, her name is not Ling Xi. Her name is Chen Xi.

The shards that were melting together before my eyes suddenly gave a ear-splitting sound, turned into powder, fell like stars.

My eyes were in stinging pain, the corners wet. A remaining drop of blood pooled together and slid down as a tear, along with it my mind became blank. The immense pain made me want to scream, but my constricted throat would not let a single sound out. From the miriad of seeming and unseeming sounds around me, I can only make out a familiar voice faintly calling out the word "Xi".

Chen Xi? Ling Xi?

Ling Xi is Ling Xi, Ling Xi is not Chen Xi.

From beginning to end, I was never that person that had been promised three lifetimes, that woman that had been etched into his bone. That person that he held close to his heart, had never been me.

The last thread of consciousness finally left me, gradually drifted away. In the darkest end of night, there was a voice that quietly asked,

Do you -- still want to see him?

No, for eternity.

(Anonymous) on November 19th, 2016 07:05 pm (UTC)
Thank you
Thank you for translating this :)
Based only on the prologue, it really makes me want to hate the male lead though... Oh well I have hope since you said he truly loved the female lead on Shushengbar
raini7o5raini7o5 on November 20th, 2016 04:42 am (UTC)
Re: Thank you
He's really sad, but you will have to wait until the very end to know why he's sad. Then you won't be able to hate him.
(Anonymous) on January 3rd, 2017 03:52 pm (UTC)
Wow... thank you for translating this novel. The comments on shushengbar make it sound wonderful, so I'm really anticipating the unfolding of events in future chapters.
(Anonymous) on August 10th, 2019 06:03 am (UTC)
Awww I just found this and it's already been abandoned..
*cries in a corner

Won't you continue this pretty pretty plssss